Fancy Cooking...

 Fancy Cooking
Two confirmed bachelors sat talking. Their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.
“I got a cookbook once,” said the first, “but I could never do anything with it.”
“Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?” asked the second.
“You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way – Take a clean dish and.

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My friend`s husband is always ...

My friend`s husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away.When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."

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My husband, Ray, was attempting ...

My husband, Ray, was attempting to build a patio for the first time.He bought 100 cement blocks. Laying them out in a pattern, he discovered the chosen area was too small.He stacked the blocks against the house and cleared more space. The next day Ray put the cement blocks back down, only to find that the ground was too hard to keep the patio level.He ordered a truckload of sand to be delivered the following morning.Again he stacked the 100 blocks against the house.Observing all this, our next-door neighbor asked, "Ray, are you going to put your patio away every night?"

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Aimara, a Mexican maid ...

Aimara, a Mexican maid announced to her Boss Mr Blanco and his wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I`m in the family way."The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."Mrs Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation."Well," Aimara explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, `You are in the way`. I go to the living room to clean and your son say `You are in my way`. So I`m in the family way and I quit."

http://www.jokes-db.com/jokes/housekeeping-jokes/

The bride was anything ...

The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn`t bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."