The Man With Three Buttocks
From Monty Python's Flying Circus
Eric Idle: And now for something completely different. A man with three buttocks! Host
(John Cleese): I have with me Mr Arthur Frampton who... (pause) Mr. Frampton, I understand
that you - um - as it were... (pause) Well let me put it another way. Erm, I believe that
whereas most people have - er - two... Two. Frampton (Michael Palin): Oh, sure. Host: Ah
well, er, Mr Frampton. Erm, is that chair comfortable? Frampton: Fine, yeah, fine. Host:
Mr Frampton, er, vis a vis your... (pause) rump. Frampton: I beg your pardon? Host: Your
rump. Frampton: What? Host: Er, your derriere. (Whispers) Posterior. Sit-upon. Frampton:
What's that? Host (whispers): Your buttocks. Frampton: Oh, me bum! Host (hurriedly):
Sshhh! Well now, I understand that you, Mr Frampton, have a... (pause) 50% bonus in the
region of what you say. Frampton: I got three cheeks. Host: Yes, yes, excellent,
excellent. Well we were wondering, Mr Frampton, if you could see your way clear to giving
us a quick... (pause) a quick visual... (long pause). Mr Frampton, would you take your
trousers down. Frampton: What? (to cameramen) 'Ere, get that away! I'm not taking me
trousers down on television. What do you think I am? Host: Please take them down.
Frampton: No! Host: No, er look, er Mr Frampton. It's quite easy for somebody just to come
along here claiming... that they have a bit to spare in the botty department. The point
is, our viewers need proof. Frampton: I been on Persian Radio, and the Forces' Network!
|
