Funny Love Quotes brought to you at Latestngreatest.Net
The sincerest love is the love of food.
Bernard Shaw .
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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
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Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener! Unknown
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The great question... which I have not
been able to
answer... is, "What ..does a woman want?''
-- Freud
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew
what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him
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Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."
Mae West
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Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
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Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law
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Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse
would have really preferred
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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.
-Oscar Wilde
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A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—
Zsa Zsa Gabor
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My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.
-Rodney Dangerfield
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The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Coleridge
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One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.
Benjamin Franklin
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.The
secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henry
Youngman
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own
age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis
Diller
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If husbands could realize what large returns of profit may be gotten out of a wife by a small word of praise paid over the counter when the market is just right, they would bring matters around the way they wish them much oftener than they usually do.
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If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
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Arguments are unsafe
with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One
can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not
even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the
quality.
Hellfire Hotchkiss
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All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.
Lord Byron
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"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech.
Every now and then she stops to breathe."
Jimmy Durante.
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Men marry women with the hope they will never
change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both
disappointed.
--
Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes
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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring, and suffering.
Anonymous
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Many a man owes his success to his first wife and
his second wife to his success.
--
Jim Backus
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Do you know what it means to come home at
night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little
tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."
George Burns.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close knit family in another city."
George Burns.
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I've had bad luck with both my wives. The
first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just
the decision maker."
Woody Allen.
The most
effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once
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Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths
Anon
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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I
asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't
been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
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Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle
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A wife is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
unknown
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I think, therefore I'm single.
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