I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as a vulture in a plague

I’m about as happy as A tranny getting a new pair of tits.

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than my girlfriends yeast infection

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than the waste from a liposuction clinic

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than curdled yogurt

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than porridge with the appearance of cottage cheese

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than your mom's shepherds pie

I forgot to buy milk so my pancakes ended up stodgier than hour old chewing gum