I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as a vulture in a plague

I’m about as happy as A tranny getting a new pair of tits.

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than Space Jam, part deux.

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than wearing kaleidoscope glasses whilst listening to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" whilst popping acid like it's Skittles

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than a film by Terry Gilliam, played backwards on a spinning television shaped like a shoe

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than a Toon Town Come Dine With Me

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than one of those crazy Japanese sci fi porn films

Life through Charlie Sheen's eyes must be loonier than that of the writers of Garth Merengies Dark Place