I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as a vulture in a plague

I’m about as happy as A tranny getting a new pair of tits.

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than a Megan Fox nipple slip

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than an orchestra led by an octopus

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than the Rapture did to my life plans

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than **For legal reasons this message has been omitted due to a super injunction**

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than four horses tied to each limb.

This Icelandic volcano is causing more disruption than the crazy frog did when he tried to start his motorbike in the outside lane of the M25 during rush hour...