I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as prince andrew in a pizza parlour

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

I’m about as happy as a vulture in a plague

I’m about as happy as A tranny getting a new pair of tits.

My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like a cobra swallowed a walrus

My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like 20 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag

My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like Mark Henry's

My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like a dwarf in a jeggings sack

My girlfriend asked if her bum looked big in that dress. I said it looked like some poured water on a wiffle ball