9 Things I Hate About Everyone

  1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time… I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
  2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
  3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?
  4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses!
  5. When people say, while watching a film, “Did you see that?”. No, Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
  6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya, Sunshine?
  7. When something is “new and improved!”… Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn’t be new.
  8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever experiences!! What can you do that’s longer?
  9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, Dumb-ass?

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Featured: Original Jokes by Fred Stoller

Fred Stoller: Thrillseeker

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Joke of The Day

Got Any Bread?

A duck walks into a bar and says ” Got any bread?”
And the barman says “No”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
And the barman, “No!”.
The following day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“I told you yesterday, N-O NO!”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“For cryin’ out loud – N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !”
The day after the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“Look, if you ask me one more damn time if I’ve got any bread,
I’m going to nail your damn beak to the damn bar!!”
The next day the duck returns and says “”Got any nails?”
“No!”
“Got any bread?

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