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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

John le Carré said ‘Spying is waiting.’ And who hasn’t spilled a hot entrée in a customer’s lap?

● As a CIA officer, if there’s one message I can offer young people looking to pursue a career in intelligence, it’s that I can neither confirm nor deny that I can.

● Nobody says ‘I’ll die on this hill’ anymore. Maybe they all died on that hill.

● Did you know your employer can legally fire you for refusing to be a whistleblower?

That’s the last time I work quality control at a whistle factory.

● Time travel? As long as time doesn’t travel here.

PostTopSecret of the Week

– From PostTopSecret

             

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As a child, while other boys were playing with G.I. Joe action figures, I played with what appeared to be a G.I. Joe action figure, but in reality was an action figure of a CIA case officer operating under military cover.

● Panicked double agent about to pay the price for their betrayal: “I thought you said you wouldn’t wish this on your worst enemy.”

Me: “You’re not my worst enemy.”

● Spring is nature’s promise to a yearning heart: “OK, this year no practical jokes, I swear. … Hey, I’m nature – would I lie to you???”

● Jim Morrison said “Expose yourself to your deepest fear.”

So I did my taxes naked.

● Whenever I see a picture of a galaxy filled with hundreds of billions of stars, I feel small. But if I see a picture of an ultra-compact dwarf galaxy containing only a hundred million stars, I feel like I need to lose weight.

Executive Intelligence Summary

Come to my senses? Can you point them out to me?

                     

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If spies are the eyes and ears of a prince, a good intelligence analyst is his olfactory system.

● The James Bond character has been portrayed by seven different actors. In real espionage, a competent ops officer is portrayed by way more actors than that. 

● FACT CHECK: No, Fact Checkers Won’t Hurt You (If You Do What We Say)

● A co-worker told me she’s terrified of drinking because she doesn’t want to end up like her parents.

I said “Your parents are alcoholic?”

She said “No, they’re parents.”

Every picture is actual size.

Executive Intelligence Summary

In space no one can hear you scream. But except for that, Earth and space are way different.

 

The Covert Comic officially isn't on X.

The Covert Comic.

Read him while you still can!