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The Covert Comic Weekly Intelligence Briefing
(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)
As a child, while
other boys were playing with G.I. Joe action figures, I played with what
appeared to be a G.I. Joe action figure, but in reality was an action
figure of a CIA case officer operating under military cover.
●
Panicked double agent about to pay the price for their betrayal: “I
thought you said you wouldn’t wish this on your worst enemy.”
Me: “You’re not my worst enemy.” ●
Spring is nature’s promise to a yearning heart: “OK, this year no
practical jokes, I swear. … Hey, I’m nature – would I lie to you???”
● Jim Morrison said “Expose yourself to your
deepest fear.” So I did my taxes naked. ● Whenever I see a picture of a galaxy filled
with hundreds of billions of stars, I feel small. But if I see a picture
of an ultra-compact dwarf galaxy containing only a hundred million
stars, I feel like I need to lose weight.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Come to my
senses? Can you point them out to me?
If spies are the eyes and ears of a prince, a
good intelligence analyst is his olfactory system. ●
The James Bond character has been portrayed by seven different actors.
In real espionage, a competent ops officer is portrayed by way more
actors than that.
●
FACT CHECK: No, Fact Checkers Won’t Hurt You (If You Do What We Say) ●
A co-worker told me she’s terrified of drinking because she doesn’t want
to end up like her parents.
I said “Your parents are alcoholic?” She said
“No, they’re parents.” ● Every picture is actual size.
Executive
Intelligence Summary In space no one can hear you scream. But except for that, Earth and space are way different.
Briefing Capitol Hill to support informed
policymaking is like becoming a taxidermist so you can work with
animals.
●
‘Calling in an airstrike’ may sound good, but it doesn’t address the
deeper issues underlying the conflict (for that you typically need to
call in multiple airstrikes).
●
“Before we begin, let me set expectations for this meeting.” Takes out wireless handheld expectation setter,
types on keypad. “OK, let’s get started.” ● How you garnish the strips of meat you cut
from the dead bodies of passengers in the plane you were flying on that
crashed in a remote mountain range is the real you. ● If I
think for one minute that I’m the kind of person who would have sex with
me on the very first date, then I’m sadly mistaken.
Executive
Intelligence Summary
Which mask to
wear, which wear to mask.
The Covert Comic. Read him while you still can!
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