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The Covert Comic

Weekly Intelligence Briefing

 

 

(Note: Cleared readers only, please.)

The wages of secrecy are corruption – with secrecy matching up to 4% of the corruption you contribute to your individual retirement account.

● I’m not a spy in the house of love – I’m a floater.

● Your true friendliness is inversely proportional to the number of consecutive friend requests you send someone on Facebook.

● I fact-check fun facts. But I’m a fun fun fact fact-checker.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. But a picture of them saying this requires a caption.

Executive Intelligence Summary

On the doors between things known and things unknown, are the screens sliding or retractable?

               

*

 

Tinker, tailor

Soldier, spy

As long as I don't have

To work in CI

● Any quote about silence can be made more illuminating by adding ‘rs’ after the e.

● One upside of not having a seat at the table: if you show up early you can grab a space next to the coffee and donuts.

My wife says she would never fake an orgasm, but if I want her to, she’s willing to fake faking one.

● What color does your mood ring turn after you read about thermochromism?

Executive Intelligence Summary

Whenever I see a picture of a galaxy filled with hundreds of billions of stars, I feel small.

But if I see a picture of an ultra-compact dwarf galaxy containing only a hundred million stars, I feel like I need to lose weight.

                     

*

 

John le Carré said ‘Spying is waiting.’ And who hasn’t spilled a hot entrée in a customer’s lap?

● As a CIA officer, if there’s one message I can offer young people looking to pursue a career in intelligence, it’s that I can neither confirm nor deny that I can.

● Nobody says ‘I’ll die on this hill’ anymore. Maybe they all died on that hill.

● Did you know your employer can legally fire you for refusing to be a whistleblower?

That’s the last time I work quality control at a whistle factory.

● Time travel? As long as time doesn’t travel here.

PostTopSecret of the Week

– From PostTopSecret

 

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