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Complete limerick archive from "Abated Breath" to "Zero Risk."

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Annual Politickles Appeal
Dear Politickle Pals:

"Your Weekly Politickle" has been provided free of charge to email subscribers since 1997! And free it will remain. A few years ago, however, I initiated an appeal for self-imposed subscription fees (i.e., donations).

Please determine the amount you wish to contribute, if any, and make a Paypal donation online by clicking the "Make a Donation" button below.

FAQs: How much should you donate? Again, that's for you to decide. It depends on how much you like, and value, "Your Weekly Politickle." For a one-year (52-week) subscription, for instance, you might contribute $5.20 (10 cents a laugh).

Can you contribute more? Of course, you can. Far be it from me to stifle a generous impulse. Rest assured, there is no maximum donation amount and all contributions will be gratefully accepted, no matter how large.

Must you contribute in order to continue receiving "Your Weekly Politickle"? Of course not. It's voluntary, remember? Must you contribute in order to terminate your subscription? Again, no. (But that's an interesting idea.) Are donations tax deductible? Afraid not. Politickles.com is a no-profit, not a non-profit, organization.

Please make your donation today, and pass this appeal on to all your like-minded friends, relatives, and acquaintances.

Regards,

F.R. Duplantier

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Looking for a previous Politickle? See The Year in Verse 2014

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Bob's plan to solve the population crisis.


Paul Harvey reads another Politickle ("News & Comment," Thursday, December 16, 2004)
Paul Harvey reads a Politickle ("News & Comment," Friday, February 6, 2004)

Here's what Washington Times columnist John McCaslin had to say about Politickles:

Impressive stock

For several years now, Inside the Beltway has published thought-provoking political limericks penned by "F.R. Duplantier." Readers, at the same time, often inquired of the limerist's background -- some long suspecting this columnist was behind the verse beneath the nom de plume "Duplantier."

Oh, to be so talented.

Both my parents were journalists in New Orleans," Mr. Duplantier reveals. "My dad wrote for the States-Item; my mother was a photographer and feature writer for Dixie Roto, the old color supplement to the Times-Picayune. They were both Marines, too, my father serving with the occupation troops in Japan and my mother stationed in Honolulu during World War II.

"My wife, Evann, is a free-lance graphic artist and home-schooling mother of six. She's also the product of two press people. Her mother, who studied journalism under my father, was for many years director of university relations at Loyola New Orleans; her dad was a documentary film photographer for WWL-TV, the CBS affiliate in New Orleans. Our kids also have excellent art and writing skills, so it looks like we're establishing a communications dynasty."

As for the limerist himself, from 1995 to 2001 the modest Mr. Duplantier penned and produced "Behind The Headlines," a nationally-syndicated radio and newspaper commentary. Prior to that, he edited a news magazine, and way back in 1984 published his first collection of cartoons, titled "Only in New Orleans." Then, in 2000, the presses pumped out "Politickles: Limericks Lampooning the Lunatic Left," many of which, we're proud to say, originally appeared in this column. (Mr. Duplantier's Web site, www.politickles.com, has a link for purchasing the book, plus archives and curiosities of various kinds.)

Finally, it's worth noting that we published yesterday's latest limerick about the just-dethroned Rep. James A. Traficant directly beneath an item on Congress conferring honorary citizenship of the United States on the Marquis de Lafayette, the French general who fought bravely alongside American colonists during the Revolutionary War. "Funny you should include my limerick right after an item on Lafayette," Mr. Duplantier told us. "My ancestor, Armand Allard Duplantier, came to America as an aide to the marquis and served as a captain in the Continental Army under his command."

("Inside The Beltway," Thursday, August 1, 2002)


Here's what other people are saying about Politickles:

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend -- and, honey, these Politickles aren't glass. They are real gems!" -- Jane Russell, actress

"Politickles are a never-ending delight. They are guaranteed to make you chuckle." -- Phyllis Schlafly, pres., Eagle Forum

"Combine H.L. Mencken with Ogden Nash and you've got F.R. Duplantier. If you like sharp satire and loony limericks, you'll love Politickles." -- Alan Gottlieb, Chairman, Talk America Radio Network

"I wouldn't think of publishing an issue of 'eco-logic online' without the latest Politickle." -- Henry Lamb, chairman, Sovereignty International


Here's how Duplantier recalls the genesis of Politickles:

"Back in the summer of 1991, I began accepting assignments to write newspaper articles for Phyllis Schlafly's Education Reporter. As I learned more and more about the preposterous programs and policies to which public school students all across America were being subjected, I realized that the journalistic expose was insufficient to capture their absurdity and that satire was what was called for. I'd written limericks for years, just for the fun of it, and decided to adapt this light-verse form to my purpose.

"In my first 'blackboard jingle,' I poked fun at the disingenuity of sex-ed instructors who pretend to offer 'balance' by combining prophylactic and abstinence perspectives:

MIXED MESSAGE
When a boy and a girl have a date
And it looks like he'll get to homeplate,
They must have protection
To ward off infection,
Though it's better, of course, if they wait.

"I devoted a second limerick to drug-education instructors who offer similarly ambiguous advice:

JUST SAY NO?
Today we discovered the thrills
Of powders, potations, and pills.
Our teacher gave plugs
For all sorts of drugs --
To test our assertiveness skills.

"As it happened, 1991 was also the year when George Bush, Bill Clinton, Ross Perot, and miscellaneous unmemorable others were gearing up for the next presidential election. There was quite a lot of confusion as to why Perot was even in the race, so I took it upon myself to offer an explanation:

PEROTS & CONS
Perhaps some of you are at a loss
Why I want to be President Ross.
It's simple, you see:
It's better for me
If I am the one who is boss!'

"Another limerick was inspired by a longstanding pet peeve of mine, the boneheaded practice of television anchormen 'explaining' to their viewers what they and the viewers have both just seen together:

INSTANT ANALYSIS
Jennings, Rather, Brokaw
Seem determined to jabber and jaw.
They think we're too dumb
To discern the outcome
Of the campaign debate we just saw.

"The problem with limericks is that they tend to become addictive. Once you start writing them, it's hard to stop. Over the last nine years I've churned out quite a few of these political limericks -- or 'Politickles,' as I dubbed them -- and have distributed them on a weekly basis to an ever-growing list of email subscribers ([email protected]). Politickles are the verbal equivalent of editorial cartoons. They make a point quickly, forcefully, humorously. Like editorial cartoons, they're ideal for energizing allies or demoralizing opponents, and perfect for posting on office bulletin boards, faculty lounge refrigerators, and other high-traffic areas.

The good thing about lampooning the lunatic left is that there's never any shortage of material. By the time you've bought a copy of Politickles for yourself (and extra copies for all your relatives), I'll have written several dozen more limericks - none of which, needless to say, will be found in the first volume! Is a sequel presaged? Can Politickles II and Son of Politickles be far behind? What do you think? Place advance orders now. And feel free to share my Politickles with your friends, use them to annoy your enemies, or write your own. It's a free country. Life is short. Express yourself.