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By Warwick Evans

You've cured your athlete's foot, and reached the top. Now indulge yourself with the latest technological widget from Nagasaki.

Experience the all-new Yamamoto Soundpot - the multi system, multi coated, laser-jet, autofocus, powerzoom hi-fi, with Karaoke and Nicam, and 17 independently-swivelling, fuzzy logic, digital recording heads for universal surroundsound and "stun vision."

The Yamamoto Soundpot's twin-screw, double dealing, ruthenium-coated, rotating blades with serrated timeslice dopple function are orthopaedically designed for unlimited power-grip and vision throw-back, plus state-of-the-art zap trapping to make viewing a luxurious and pleasurable ordeal.

Get the all-new Nagasaki Yamamoto Soundpot, and welcome along to be that many splendoured thing and perfect for your family viewing, aren't she! And for a home appliance, you'll be right you are!...

(to control room) I'm sorry, I just can't go on. Who wrote this?

CopyrightŠ1993 Evans and Savidge
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