 By Vaughan Savidge
(sound of typewriters in newspaper newsroom)
- Aussie Editor:
- Right. I think I've got it. Nubile Laura's Night of Naughtiness in er ... where does she
go to school? It's not Nottingham is it?
- Reporter:
- Bath, I think. I could find out.
- Aussie Editor:
- No, don't bother. You're probably right. (pause) Beautiful
Laura Battles Bulimia Bravely. How's that for a headline?
- Reporter:
- Well she's only visiting for the holidays. We don't know she's battling anything.
- Aussie Editor:
- All right all right. Bloody hell. You'd think it mattered or something. (pause) How about ... Laura's Love romp Leaves Lascivious Lover
Lovelorn in London. Perfect.
- Reporter:
- But she's just a 17-year-old girl visiting her family on holiday.
- Aussie Editor:
- All right then. How about: Homesick for Hong Kong - Lovely Laura leaves London Love nest
- Doting Dad Driven Dotty.
- Reporter:
- Now you've got it.
(sound of presses rolling to fade)
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