by Vaughan Savidge
"New Balls!"
The umpire's voice rang out across centre court. Diane looked up suddenly from her
strawberries and Champagne. Wimbledon. Here she was on a beautiful English summer's day
watching the world's best players sweat and grunt in off-key harmony as they warmed up for
the big match. In the wake of St. Petersburg she needed a break from balls, everyone had
said so.
The mere thought of St. Petersburg made her hands search out those mysterious marks on
her elbows and knees that had appeared overnight shortly after her arrival in Russia. But
it was pointless wondering for the thousandth time how they had got there ... especially
as the lady seated next to her was smiling in preparation to speak.
"We heard you berating the usher when you came in. You must be from the colonies.
We are very interested in the Commonwealth, and devote a lot of our time to its
unity."
"What a strange, frumpy little woman", Diane thought to herself. She was
quite obviously desperate to associate herself with a better class of person, and Diane
was certainly that. Anyway, she would never snub anyone - not to their face.
"You know it's amazing how many people recognise me around the world, perhaps due
to an article in the Peak Magazine in the late 1970s."
"How fascinating".
At that moment a band struck up the national anthem, and Diane sprang to her feet. The
little woman beside her remained stubbornly seated. She was obviously new money - at least
newer than Diane's.
"Pssst. Pssst" Diane signalled the woman to join her standing up. "Look,
darling, you're obviously not as au fait with protocol as I am, but unless you get
off your arse they'll probably have your head on a pike at Traitor's Gate faster than you
can show your map of Tasmania to the judge."
But the music had stopped and play was beginning.
"Really" Diane said to the woman. "You wouldn't last long in Hong Kong,
dearie."
"No" the woman replied. "I believe they've already taken our head off
the coins."
"She's mad" Diane thought as she hurriedly left centre court. "Thank God
I'll be home soon where such people know their place." How she longed for the true
social structure of Hong Kong.
