Monty Python - Premise & Conclusion

Transcribed by David D. Levine  12 Jul 89

P: Morning, Mrs. Premise!

C: Morning, Mrs. Conclusion!

P: Busy day?

C: Busy?! Just spent four hours burying the cat!

P: FOUR HOURS to bury a cat?

C: Oh yes, it wouldn't keep still... wriggling about, howling...

P: We're going to have the budgie put down.

C: Is it very old then?

P: No, we just don't like it.

C: How do they put budgies down anyway?

P: Well, I've just been reading a big book about how to put your budgie down. It seems you can either hit them with the book or shoot them *there*, just above the beak.

C: Mrs. Essence flushed hers down the loo.

P: Oh, that's dangerous! They breed in the sewers! And soon you get huge flocks of evil-smelling soiled budgies flying out of people's lavatories and infringing their personal freedoms!

Personal freedom infringed? Ring Slater Nazis, or, if closed, the Department of Foreign Affairs.

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