The Board Meeting

Copyright©1993 Evans and Savidge

By Warwick Evans

Chairman:

Well ... uh ... I trust you all had a good lunch. Uh ... the reason I've called this board meeting ... is.. to.. discuss one or two important ... ah

 

(medium fart)

 

er ... topics. Now, as you're all no doubt aware, the company is under a lot of...

 

(medium high wetty)

 

ah... pressure, ah, just recently, and we have to declare our...

 

(medium high dry one)

 

ah, assets... many of them, ah

 

(liquid fart)

 

ah, uh, liquid. On top of this, we also still have a very big ah, er er...

 

(medium high)

 

ah, production problem. And it might cause a bit of a...

 

(high dry)

 

ah, ah, stain on our reputation, if ah such news should actually...

 

(wheezing fart)

 

ah, leak out, ah...

 

(loud short sharp fart)

 

unexpectedly! But, ah, as I say, we've convened this board meeting in order to have a concerted...

 

(long, slow strainer)

 

ah ... effort ... so that we'll be...

 

(relaxed, balloon deflater)

 

uh ... relieved ... from our difficult situation. And now ladies and gentlemen, in conclusion, I'd just like to apologise for the way I've conducted this board meeting. It must have been something I ate. I do apologise.