Banzai Revisited You Bastards

Copyright©1993 Evans and Savidge

By Warwick Evans

General:

Men, it's time we all took stock of the situation and braced ourselves for what's going to happen in 1997, when Britain reverts to Japanese rule.

Major:

Excuse me general.

General:

Well, what is it Major Peabody, speak up, speak up!

Major:

I think you mean when sovereignty over Hong Kong reverts to China, and in any case by 1997 the British garrison will no longer be stationed here.

General:

Quite, quite! Now Hong Kong is in a very vulnerable position. When the Japanese come swarming over the border, we had better be ready for them. Now I've organised a volunteer force, headed by Jack Edwards...

Major:

General!

General:

Yes, well, what is it now?

Major:

It's China on the other side of the border, not Japan, and anyway, Jack Edwards has retired.

General:

Has he, by God? You try telling HIM that. And don't underestimate the Japanese. We did it in 41 with disastrous consequences, and I'm damned if we're going to make the same mistake in 97. Now, Jack Edwards and his volunteers will fall back and confront the Imperial Japanese Army about here, just outside the botanical gardens in Central.

Major:

General!

General:

Well, Well?!!

Major:

Do you really think Jack Edwards and a handful of old men will stand a chance against an entire army?

General:

Not a hope, old boy. But he's determined to go through with it, and there's no way of stopping him. Seems he's gathering material for his new book "Banzai, Revisited You Bastards".

Major:

My God, what do you think they'll do to him?

General:

Well, Jack's a celebrity. They'll probably give him a pat on the back and tell him to get on with it.

Major:

But the point is, he won't be able to stop them taking over Hong Kong?

General:

On the contrary, by my calculations it won't be long before he raises the issue of POW pensions with the Imperial Japanese Command, and then they'll do precisely what we're doing.

Major:

General?

General:

They'll get the hell out of here while they're still winning.