MFN Renewal

Copyright©1993 Evans and Savidge

By Vaughan Savidge

White House Press Secretary: The President has asked me to read you the list of demands China must accede to if it wants MFN status renewed next year.

1. Tibet must remain quaint.
2. The Disney corporation should be taken on board by China to retain Tibet's essential Tibetanness.
3. No reds will be allowed under beds.
4. China's prisons must follow the humane practises set down in the American penal system - allowing scope for homosexual rape, chain gangs and racial ghettos.
5. More Coca-Cola must be drunk, more blueberry pie eaten and 500 cable channels carrying repeats of Hawaii Five-O phased in over the next two years.
6. American aircraft manufacturers must be allowed to offer smaller bribes.
7. Sales of McDonald's must quadruple.
8. American weapons systems must be favoured over all others.

Are there any questions?