Double Take - The Plane Trip

The Plane Trip

by Vaughan Savidge

There was a good 3 minutes before the plane took off - so Diane decided on a leisurely browse through the W. H. Smith's book shop at Heathrow.

"Let them wait!" she thought to herself in what she imagined to be a regal way. Warming to the idea of 350 other passengers sitting there wondering what the hold up was - she added "Let them eat airline food!".

She chose a new book by a favourite author. Cherise Chundar had always moved her imagination with her lifelike characterisations of bronzed, chisel-jawed Italian counts risking their fortunes, their reputations and perhaps an occasional nasty little rash so that they could run away with the woman they loved - a 50-something woman they had met on the beach at Venice while her husband went for an ice cream. Just like life.

The first class purser was very courteous - but then he was paid to be. The other passengers were not under any such obligation - and showed it when she eventually turned up 48 minutes late.

"Most dreadfully sorry" she said diplomatically " terrible traffic getting here". But the purser knew she must have checked in earlier, or the plane would not have been held.

She took her seat - and as they served lunch over the English channel she pondered that great imponderable - where does all the flatulence that airline food promotes vanish to on an aircraft?

She woke up several hours later and read her book for a while. The person seated next to her disturbed her when she was only 15 pages in.

"Good, is it?" he asked.

"Not bad," she smiled "although I must confess there's a bit here I don't understand."

"What's that?"

"Well" she continued " the Italian count has just met this rather tarty girl - not the heroine you understand - and Cherise - that's the author - says that he ravages her."

"So?"

"Well I thought the word was ravish."

"You could be right. But then ravage means to lay waste."

Diane thought about it for a moment before deciding to continue her reading. Only another eight hours before she would be back in her beloved Hong Kong.