Double Take - At Wimbledon

At Wimbledon

by Vaughan Savidge

"New Balls!"

The umpire's voice rang out across centre court. Diane looked up suddenly from her strawberries and Champagne. Wimbledon. Here she was on a beautiful English summer's day watching the world's best players sweat and grunt in off-key harmony as they warmed up for the big match. In the wake of St. Petersburg she needed a break from balls, everyone had said so.

The mere thought of St. Petersburg made her hands search out those mysterious marks on her elbows and knees that had appeared overnight shortly after her arrival in Russia. But it was pointless wondering for the thousandth time how they had got there ... especially as the lady seated next to her was smiling in preparation to speak.

"We heard you berating the usher when you came in. You must be from the colonies. We are very interested in the Commonwealth, and devote a lot of our time to its unity."

"What a strange, frumpy little woman", Diane thought to herself. She was quite obviously desperate to associate herself with a better class of person, and Diane was certainly that. Anyway, she would never snub anyone - not to their face.

"You know it's amazing how many people recognise me around the world, perhaps due to an article in the Peak Magazine in the late 1970s."

"How fascinating".

At that moment a band struck up the national anthem, and Diane sprang to her feet. The little woman beside her remained stubbornly seated. She was obviously new money - at least newer than Diane's.

"Pssst. Pssst" Diane signalled the woman to join her standing up. "Look, darling, you're obviously not as au fait with protocol as I am, but unless you get off your arse they'll probably have your head on a pike at Traitor's Gate faster than you can show your map of Tasmania to the judge."

But the music had stopped and play was beginning.

"Really" Diane said to the woman. "You wouldn't last long in Hong Kong, dearie."

"No" the woman replied. "I believe they've already taken our head off the coins."

"She's mad" Diane thought as she hurriedly left centre court. "Thank God I'll be home soon where such people know their place." How she longed for the true social structure of Hong Kong.