Double Take - Ding and Dong

Ding and Dong

By Barry Bakker

Good evening, and welcome to the Lyric Theatre, where we're about to witness the special magic of that brilliant double act, the side-splittingly funny Ding and Dong direct from Beijing.

Not since George Burns and Gracie Allen, Abbot and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, and the Three Stooges has there been a double act as phenomenal as Ding and Dong.

Obviously, they'll be performing in Putonghua, so I'll be translating for you at home.

(laughter)

And here they are. What a sight! The audience is on its feet, laughing hysterically - and Ding and Dong haven't even started yet. But wait... Ding and Dong are ready.

(Chinese opera couple talking)

I say, I say. Who was that lady I saw you with last night?

(laughter)

That was no lady. As you hear, they certainly haven't lost their touch.

When is a door not a door? When it's a window.

This... this is sheer magic. How does your dog smell? Very bad...

They just get batter and better. The superb timing of these two.

Now,...wait...wait. A funny thing happened on the way to the Great Hall tonight. Wait for the punch line... Up yours!...

And here comes the real punch line. Ding punches Dong in the face.