Double Take - The Very Model

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By Warwick Evans

Director:

Next please! (aside) God, how many more of these dreadful, tired old amateur banjo players do we have to suffer?

Assistant:

I think this should just about be the last one.

Director:

Oh, thank God.

Assistant:

Says he's lived in Hong Kong for many years.

Director:

Oh please! They're the worst. (to stage) all right. Come along! Yes, you sir. I believe you have something for us?

Bard:

Well, I've prepared a little something ...

Director:

(aside) Oh, spare us! (to stage) Yes! We're listening. What is it you wish to share with us?

Bard:

Well, I don't really know how best to describe it. But it's written in the style of Gilbert and Sullivan.

Director:

(aside) The man's mad. (to stage) all right Mr. ... whoever. Let's be hearing you!

Bard:

I like our chief executive, I wouldn't want another one.

But China says Chris Patten is an interfering southerner.

They turn up all their noses,

When they hear what he proposes.

Yes he is the very model of a democratic governor.

Despite the age of Elsie Tu, there's still a lot of bounce in her.

But now she's over eighty they shall have to stop denouncing her.

And when her colleagues show pretence,

She fends them off with common sense.

She is the very model of a Legislative Councillor.

The Airport Project goes ahead, but China thinks it's terrible

The thought of all the money spent is really quite unbearable.

It doesn't matter what they say,

We'll build the airport anyway.

And have the very model of a modern airport terminal.

Now Ronald Li has lately been the subject of derision here.

He got mixed up in shady deals and spent some time in prison here.

But what did his investments pay?

Five million dollars every day!

He is the very model of a Stock Exchange Commissioner.