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Copyright©1993 Evans and Savidge

By Andy Chworowsky

Sound Technician:

Ah, Sir Robin, we're almost ready to do the interview. Could you just give us some level - say a few words into the microphone - make sure all the equipment is working?

 

Sir Robin:

Okay. Testing, testing, testing.

 

Sound Technician:

No. You're a little off mike. Sir Robin, could you stand just a little bit closer and talk normally.

 

Sir Robin:

All right.

 

Sound Technician:

Just say a few words for level. Anything will do. Just give me some sound.

 

Sir Robin:

Beijing. In the spring.

 

Sound Technician:

More, more. Keep the words coming! You know, Mary had a little lamb?

 

Sir Robin:

I beg you pardon?

 

Sound Technician:

Perhaps not. I know. What did you have for breakfast this morning?

 

Sir Robin:

Well ... I really don't want to characterise that at this stage.

 

Sound Technician:

That's no good. I need some more level. Describe your journey from Peking to Hong Kong?

 

Sir Robin:

Now ... I really can't go into details. All I will say is that the atmosphere was perfectly normal.

 

Sound Technician:

Keep it coming, Sir Robin. We're almost there. What do you think of the Chinese negotiating team?

 

Sir Robin:

I think they're the biggest bunch of suave, sanctimonious, self-satisfied, jumped-up, snivelling, slimy little whippersnappers that I ever had the misfortune to deal with. But don't quote me!

 

Sound Technician:

Thank you Sir Robin. That's perfect.